Hello! I have an announcement to make. I have returned from space after discovering life in another galaxy. I have made contact with them, and they appear to be hostile. This is a very long and thrilling story, and email me if you would like a full account, but suffice it to say that, due to my new invention that makes faster-than-light travel not only possible, but convenient (not to mention fuel-efficient, since it runs on one milionth of an ounce of chocolate per thirty billion lightyears of travel). This discovery will undoubtedly be claimed as the work of much older and smarter people than I, but all who read this will know the truth.
(Mrs. Hislop, you're the only one who will get this blog post.)
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